Presbytery 2010 - Post-Presbytery Analysis

What can I say about Presbytery this year? That question has been much on my mind the past few days. For some reason, I find myself at a loss for words, and that is not a common affliction for me.

I think the challenge lies in the fact that everything I can think of to say has another side to it. Yes, I could say that Presbytery was a phenomenal timewaster, intent upon scrupulously analyzing every detail of everything. And yet I did not feel that I wasted my time by going. I could say that I was particularly struck by the intelligence and education of the representatives, and yet I was also struck by the number of 'ums', 'uhs', and 'I don't knows'. I enjoyed the hearty chorus of men's voices singing, and I giggled to hear them break into the not-particularly-confidence-inspiring hymn 'I Am Not Skilled To Understand'. It was a circus of contradictions at every turn.

Was there anything consistant about it? When I consider that question, I must say yes, but it was something more subtle than measures and debates. When I entered the church, I was warmly greeted by people who must have known that I had no particular business there, and yet they cheerfully offered me a seat to watch and listen. When I asked for the handouts that the representatives brought in with them, someone found me a copy. At lunchtime, one of the ministers brought me a plate of food ... and returned to take the empty plate back to the kitchen, so that I wouldn't have to make the walk to the dining room. And finally, when my husband and I were slipping out early, another minister followed us out to the car to say goodbye. He even brought out apples for the children to eat on the long drive home.

The most remarkable feature of this Presbytery meeting was not the policies and decisions, but rather the kindness demonstrated in a dozen small but thoughtful ways.

I am an ex-Pentecostal, and the world of Presbyterians is still sometimes a strange and alien and even frightening world for me. As a Pentecostal, I saw churches brought down--not by falling numbers or a struggling budget, but by their own leaders. Power-hunger and greed too often corrupt systems in which a single person may hold sway over thousands. When one voice may silence all others, decisions can be made very quickly. But then, decisions are often stirred more by pride and passion than rationality.

When I first began attending Calvary Orthodox Presbyterian Church, I was on the alert for signs that it might be an abusive organization. I had seen too much of leaders using the name of God to defraud and manipulate others, and I was determined not to be taken in again. "How do I know?" I would ask my new pastor. "Tell me how I know that you wouldn't be that way."

"I wouldn't do those things," he said. "Never."

"They all say that!" I snapped. "But how do I know?"

Over years, I have realized that he was telling the truth. But it occured to me on Tuesday that my pastor might have saved much time and many insults against his character by simply bringing me to Presbytery. As I watched the proceedings, I realized that a truly impatient and haughty person could never survive here. A man who couldn't stand to listen to any voice other than his own would simply never last in a days-long meeting in which dozens of voices drone on incessantly. Someone who could not bear to be questioned or have his will crossed would not be able to deal with committees, votes, and delays.

The system is long, arduous, and infuriating. And so it culls out anyone who cannot put up with difficult situations and frustrating people without losing his temper.

Yet the system is also elegant, exacting, and empowering. Any church member can command the attention of the entire region of pastors and elders by simply filing a grievance. Every voice is given an opportunity to be heard. Every measure is a careful product of the collective thought and judgment of several dozen people who are all agreed to be governed by the rule of the Bible, the Confession, and the Book of Church Order, and also to be governed by one another.

And so, as imperfect as it is, as time-consuming, bizarre, and even silly as it can be ... Presbytery is glorious.